22 & not a clue

I run around Melbourne in thongs or heels all day (talk about all or nothing), clutching my fake longchamps that is long passed its best. I throw myself into trams & trains wedged between tiny Asian woman & a man with a suspicious smell issuing from his bag. Faintly banana like. You know who you are. I get to my office, basement, air conditioned & light adjusted white room where I spend 8hrs of my day thinking about all the other things I want to or need to be doing.
I swan around the office as the youngest team member frustrated at the lack of men & bored with my lunch by 11 & I wonder what the hell I am doing here.

The weather in Melbourne since the heat wave passed has been similar to a teenager. Sweaty, changeable & prone to tears. I wake up wondering what the hell to wear for 23 degrees with rain all day. Its like some form of sadistic pathetic fallacy. This heat with this weather just freaks me. It throws me off. We are supposed to be in autumn & it's 24 degrees. I am a duck out of too hot water.

So I priss about all day wondering whether I will work out tonight at home.
I do Pilates you know. That's floor exercises where I think I look like the woman on YouTube I have enlarged on my battered Mac book for the sole purpose of finding my 'abdominals'. I'm sorry, what?
What is this? This fuckery I am calling adult life. I'm still checking to make sure my skirt isn't in my knickers most mornings. How do I qualify for life right now?

If I am an adult then how did that happen? Why did no one teach me at school how to fill in a tax return? Why was I not taught how to work out which electricity company is cheapest? This bill is in Chinese. Why did I have to learn to write a cover letter the hard way? And why does no one prepare you for what seems like an endless gap between right now & your career. Where are the rungs of this ladder I am apparently climbing?

Is it just me or are you also sitting on public transport heading for your air conditioned box wondering why the hell you tore your hair out over Pythagoras theorem at 15? That your mother was wrong, it will never be useful & as a financial administrator I can safely say that calculators are the only option. Curriculums are all fucked. Why are we teaching our kids Pi & not teaching them about tax & insurance. Why did I have to teach myself how to change a tyre?
Where has life learning gone.
And we wonder why teenagers don't know how to boil an egg. Seriously.

I have to believe that I manage quite well all things considered. If I can cross the world & hit the restart button without total melt down then I must have done something right. But as a person who gets upset when the kitchen knobs don't all face the same way ( & I am not referring to my male flat mates for a change) I am finding just coping with all this a struggle.

I am tired. I am hungry. I am bored. I bandy on on this blog about changing your life & positivity when frankly I am a grumpy so and so whose just full of good advice. So if anyone has any tips on how to be a successful adult throw them my way because if I don't get some sleep & my head screwed on properly soon I may find the banana smelling man & make the fat man on tram 59 sit on him.

Or maybe I just need it to be Friday already. I'm pretty sure in 20 years time I will still be the woman checking my knickers.