If he isn't reading you

by

There is only so long that you can do things for someone before you realise you need to put yourself first.
The age old phrase of bringing a camel to water but the bugger still won't drink is still relevant a millennia later.
Putting yourself out there for others may be a part of who you are, it may be your way of showing you care. It may in fact be your most prized quality amongst your friends. You are known for your selflessness. The person they know they could call on Christmas Day if needs be.
It is a wonderful thing to be.
But it is also a very draining responsibility.

You can encourage, support and aid those you love in all they do but if the person won't push the ball of struggle up the hill themselves then why are you still standing behind them shouting words of encouragement?
Your ball still needs dragged up this hill of life the same as any other & who is there for you ?
I am not advocating selfishness, I am saying look out for yourself.

Don't always be the one who loves most. Because love should not validate your actions or give you purpose.

My latest tv series obsession;Girls, written by and starring Lena Dunham. A writer, actress and director at the age of 26. The show mixes beautiful 'Juno' style realism with some 'Sex and The City' undertones, only much less glamorous. I am inspired by Dunham's career and her writing. I regularly scream 'Someone is stealing my life' at the screen with each episode. Between disastrous lovers, empty bank accounts & bad decisions it strikes a chord with a part of life that isn't written about: The early 20s of the average woman trying to make it in a city.
This is about Hannah, a little overweight, alot broke & completely unemployed. A writer struggling with a dead end internship and determined parents. Not another Carrie Bradshaw. Thank God.

In one episode a very telling quote which struck me and has stayed with evidently was
'If he's not reading your writing, he's not reading you'.
If your friend or loved one isn't actively as interested and supportive in your life as you are in theirs then perhaps you need to think about why that is.
We are what we do & we become what we think.
If the person we love isn't interested in whatever our passion is then they aren't interested in us or who we are. Putting yourself first is soo much easier said than done, but in the long run it is less exhausting than supporting and loving someone who doesn't do the same for you.

Hold yourself more dear, expect the same from your friends and lovers.
Don't accept shit excuses and inattention because you wouldn't treat you like that.

Life is simply too bloody short.