22 & not a clue

I often mention my life in Melbourne in passing in my posts but I don't talk about it in any great depths. I like to infuse a sense of the any woman; this could be any city anywhere throughout these posts. After all we are just people struggling through in the end; regardless of which continent or country.

I get told I am brave and that people envy me for my choices after uni, frequently. I have had many a friend who has told me how they dream of doing something like this. But the thing I can't get my head around, is why don't they? It isn't that hard. You quit your job, buy a flight, throw a banging party & go.
You throw yourself out there. Cling to an edge or two & just take a chance.

Saying this, I know for a fact I am not made of exceptionally strong stuff & except for the usual bag of crazy mixed with a tendency towards neurotic I am nothing out of the ordinary. I think bungee jumping is crazy, heights scare the shit out of me & I have never been on a roller-coaster - I hardly live on the edge.

So why is it that this is such a big deal? Maybe it's the distance? 10,490+ thousand miles is Alot. Believe me. Or maybe it is the wholly alien, the unknown?They're right though guys- Vegemite does taste the same. Either way I truly believe the average graduate these days needs to not only think outside of the box, but rip that fucker to pieces & start again. How do you ever expect to stand out if you followed the crowd?

I am on dangerous ground here as many wonderful people I know have stayed & fought the good fight after uni and are making progress. I do not want to be on a high horse or a cross for that matter. I simply wish to throw a spanner in the works & ask why not? Why shouldn't you even just consider buggering off out of which ever hemisphere for a while?

The irony is that I have met more Paddys in Melbourne than in my last three years in London. This is the place to come to in a failing economy. You only have to stroll down Acland street or head for Bridies on Chapel street to know that. I will be going back to London to get away from them all the city is so overrun.

Despite all this when it truly comes down to it & I weigh it all up, maybe you guys were right to stay. Often times I feel like a message in a bottle - afloat, adrift & alone. But then I remember that like all such bottles destined for land I too will come ashore when the tide is right. I just haven't been through enough currents or high seas yet.

I will be back. But not yet. Not yet.

Tempus fugit has always been one of my dad's favourite Latin sayings. It mockingly hangs in the air betwixt beautiful consonants and two pairs of rhyming syllables.

After uni, time quite literally flies. Life begins to map itself out in terms of weekends. Something only your parents did, or so you thought. Trips and plans become your focus and before you know it it's March when yesterday it was January.

In six weeks I have moved out, held down a job, saved a substantial sum, had a no holes barred trip to Sydney & kept a nice lifestyle on the side. In just six weeks. It feels like I've been doing this forever. I'm happy. But I think it's time I shook things up a bit. 22 isn't the age to be comfortable. So I may bugger off to warmer climes, three days raining at 15 degrees will not do.

At this age, you want to be comfortable, but what you need is the swerving doubt constant in your life of will I make it? This isn't a challenge & I think, sadist that I am, that's what I need.

Spend more time doing what makes you happy and even more time doing things that have you on your fingernails. Because what else will you have to remember if you don't? That you had some savings & a job for a while. Was that it? When did you live?

Uncertainty is living. Do things that scare you.