22 & not a clue

Last Saturday a good friend dragged me to the Liverpool match. Despite being two of four women in the entire pub, we had a great night. That being said there was one incident that added a slight ugly undertone to the evening.

The saddest part of it all? His dad was a real sweetie. Not quite like father like son. To return to the point though, why was that the first compliment to spring to his mind and in what universe did he think any woman, never mind me, would be flattered? He'd just spent an hour in the sunshine of my company and all he could comment on were my tits?

Don't all scream sexist at once but I feel like this is atypical, that I shouldn't be shocked, that I should be flattered almost? Maybe I am horribly out of practice or maybe he's an amoeba with no chat. I think it's probably the latter. But look here guys, don't comment on a woman's breasts. Don't comment on her body full stop. If you must comment on her smile, tell her her eyes sparkle and you like her hair. Tell her you like the sound of her laugh or that she has a great giggle.

There's no need to point out the obvious, if she's any kind of woman she already knows she has amazing breasts and pins to kill. Compliment her mind, her humour and her wit. Don't lower the tone, there's no need. We don't like it. Rant done. 

The trouble with being alone & single for an extended period of time is not that it gives you unrealistic expectations, but that it teaches you what you need. You need a man who asks how your interview went, who responds to his emails & who is sensible with his money. You don't want someone who talks about themselves, ignores their emails until asked & is forever broke.

Unfortunately the longer you spend independently fine tuning all the things you did badly in your formative years, the less likely you are to accept that shit from someone else should the opportunity for commitment present itself.

Accepting yourself and working on the flaws should teach you some compassion & patience, you would hope? Wrong. It teaches you life is short & other people don't work things out unless they're forced to. If you get into a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to be an adult how do you ever expect them to be a man.

Perhaps leaving him out to dry, whoever he is, for a little longer is for the best? Because frankly if you haven't sorted your own shit out then how do you ever expect another persons problems to work with yours in a relationship? People throw themselves together in dire hopes of happiness without ever truly getting to the bottom of what made them miserable or useless in the first place.

He may need to grow up, but you sure do as well. Take time to consolidate where you're going wrong with people, life, career or worst of all your day to day emotions. Only when you work those things through will you be in a place to meet your man half way.